Good Mom

I want to be a good mom.
I want to teach Morgan and Ian. I want them to be successful and happy. I want them to avoid the unnecessary pitfalls and know how to pick themselves up from the ones they have to fall into. I want them to know their Savior. I want them to know how much He loves them. I want them to know how much I love them.
And I hate hearing Morgan cry at night. I hate walking away from her when she doesn't listen. I hate feeling like I am breaking her heart when I am trying to teach her. I hate when I lose control and slam a door.
I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to react when I tell Morgan no and she finds a way to make the situation okay. I don't know what to do when we're both right. I don't know what to do when we are both wrong.
I want to be a good mom.
I hate hearing her cry but I don't know how else to teach her.
I don't know how to feel okay with leaving her in her tears.
I want her to know how much I love her but I don't know how that is supposed to work when I spend half the day "using my mean voice" because she just DOES NOT listen.

It hurts.

I just wish I knew what I was doing. I wish I could go forward feeling 100% about the parenting choices I am making. But there is so much gray where I always thought it would be black and white.

Some days it is hard to be a Mom. I wouldn't give it up for anything, even when I am frustrated with Ian for his temper, and Morgan for her arguing, and myself for my reaction to the combination. It would be a whole lot easier if it wasn't their lives I am molding.

Needless to say, I am feeling a little overwhelmed today. Can somebody toss me a stress ball?

EDIT:
  I do realize how very over dramatic this is. But, seeing as how it's my blog and all, I am allowed to be this way here. Writing it all out helps me to not be this way in real life, where it might cause problems. That is all :)