Alright, I warned you.
I am just so tired of being pregnant. And its not even so much that. Its just that there were about 5 women due about 3 weeks before me, and I think it is playing tricks on my mind. I just feel like everybody has had their babies, and here is me, still not even quite a 2 and only 60% effaced. Which, by the way, is the same I have been for the past 2 and a half weeks.
Yesterday JD pointed out that I have not even reached my due date yet, so what is the point in me getting all worked up. Well, I don't know what the point is, it is just how it is.
I try to calm myself down by pointing out things like:
1) Regardless of how nice it seems to have a baby 2 weeks early, that is ACTUALLY a malfunction, and my body is only performing as it should by carrying my baby to full term.
2) I have had a healthy, mostly comfortable pregnancy that has made it bearable to be pregnant for a full 40 weeks.
3) Everyday this kid stays in there is one more day that I get to spend with just Morgan.
Pointing out these things to myself does not really help, at all.
The worst part of the whole thing is that I feel like my body is just not going to do this on its own ever. I feel like everyday he is in there, is not one more day waiting to go into labor naturally, its one more day to wait to find out when we will actually have the baby. Its just a lot of ups and downs with the contractions that come and go away, and the doctor's appointments where I try and try to keep myself from getting my hopes up, and I still manage to do so, only to find out I haven't progressed at all.
On Sunday, when one of those women who had their baby 3 weeks ago brought in their little guy, I seriously felt like I am never going to have one of those. I just feel like it is never going to happen. Its like I can't wrap my mind around the idea of him ever actually coming out, because I can't even handle getting my hopes up again just to wait.
But, on the bright side, I am 40 weeks on Thursday, and have an appointment on Friday to schedule an induction for next week. So at least I know he won't be in there till next month.
3 comments:
I'm sorry Bryt!!! You don't even want to ask Lynn how I behaved in the doctors office on my last weeks of pregnancy...lets just say I was crying uncontrolably and basically begging for some sort of intervention. Probably TMI but whenever they stripped my membrains..or whatever that's called, I always went into labor within 24 hours (with both boys that is :)...if you haven't tried that maybe it would help ;).
I hope something happens soon for you! He WONT be in there forever!
hang in there girl. those last days are the hardest. I remember feeling that way waiting for angela. it didn't help that each sunday that I went to church people kept asking me what I was doing there. I should have had my baby by now. Brother.... anyways... we all need to vent sometimes so it's alright. :)
Oh dear oh dear. Maybe you will have him right on the due date like Connor. I'm sorry you are in that super duper can't wait to get the baby out stage. He will come out. Maybe he just wants his own birthday week, ha ha.
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